In the Shadows
by Kidann
Summary: A sweet but sad songfic from Sasuke’s PoV, containing allusions to a boy-boy relation - DeathFic - The second part from Wth YOU, can be read independently though


_**Summary :**_**A sweet but sad songfic from Sasuke's PoV, containing allusions to a boy-boy relation - DeathFic - (The second part from Wth YOU, can be read independently though)**

_**Author :**_** Kidann**

_**Title :**_** In the Shadows**

_**Rating :**__** T**_

_**Disclaimer :**_** In the Songfic « With U », I said that I had abducted Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto characters. Well… not anymore… looks at her prison guard Please mister, can you let me out???**

_**Couple :**_** Sasu-Naru**

_**Type :**_** SongFic/DeathFic (From Sasu's PoV)**

**Hi there! Here's Kiddo again!**

**Once again, I must say that normally, I am writing in French (my first language). But I tried a SongFic last time, in english, and i quite loved it. It was from Naru's PoV. And I wanted to add something to it : Sasu's PoV. So i am writing another! (Nemesix, my friend and first fanfic reader, really loved the « With U » fanfiction and said it was a good idea). It took me like an hour to find a good song lyrics for Sasu's PoV and finally, i found it : « In the Shadows » from The Rasmus. Another song I really love. **

**You may find some mistakes in my writings, and it won't be my fault okay? I am bilingual at reading and hearing English, not writing or talking (it's sad). Take in note that I am a yaoi lover. There won't be anything about « mature content » but for those who can't stand reading about a boy-boy relation, well… bye bye.**

**This the second part of the fanfic called **Wth You **but you can read both in disorder. The other is from Naru's PoV.**

In The Shadows

_No sleep  
No sleep until I am done with finding the answer  
Won't stop  
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer_

I can never sleep well. Not until I fulfill my duty, what I'm living for. It seems like it's going to kill me, if I don't. Well… sure thing, he is going to kill me soon or later. And I must kill him before he did. All that hate I sit on, it's tearing me apart. It's frightening. Yes, I am scared of what's leading me. Scared of what's keeping me alive. Still, my childhood memories keep haunting me and pushes me to go forward.

I want to be healed from those wounds, but I don't know how. At the same time, I'm scared. It's scary to be all alone. But no one can understand my feelings. No one.

_Sometimes  
I feel I going down and so disconnected  
Somehow  
I know that I am haunted to be wanted_

It's sad, but I keep on pushing myself at the bottom of the dock. I can't look back. Can't go back either. No one is waiting for me. I don't want anyone to be. It's too hard, like torture if I don't cut the bonds between me and those people. Also, it'll be better for them not to care about the avenger. Like that, they won't get hurt. I am the only one deserving mental torture.

_I've been watching  
I've been waiting  
In the shadows all my time  
I've been searching  
I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life_

I watched them, jealous of how happy they were. They were living for something, while i was wondering why I was still alive. I could have killed myself. Oh, it would've been so easy this way. But I was too much of a coward to do it. I kept on living for « tomorrow ». But now I realize… that « tomorrow », I'll never reach it. « Tomorrow » is in the future and we live in the present. I will never live in the future. In fact, it seems that I'm still living in the past…

_In the shadows _

_In the shadows _

They say  
That i must learn to kill before i can feel safe  
But I  
I rather kill myself then turn into their slave 

Shrug off its conscience is hard and it doesn't pay. Even though, I did it. To flee from them, from you. I don't like where I am. But I'm a coward, when it comes to feelings. I always ran away from it, ever since… that day. The day which made a complete coward of myself. That day when I finally understood… that I am no good at protecting those i love. But I won't look back. And I'm definitively not going back to the village.

Because you're there. And I can't stand being near you. It hurts.

_Sometimes  
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder  
Somehow  
I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder_

I don't want to hurt you, even if I did. It's hard to explain and you wouldn't understand. Not that you're an idiot. It's more like… see, I can't even understand myself sometimes.

I feel like he will kill every single one of those I have bonds with. So I plainly cut ours. I prefer to know you are alive than with lady death in your back. It hurts even more, but I am sure you don't love me anyways. I was always so cold with you. To protect you. And to protect me.

_I've been watching  
I've been waiting  
In the shadows all my time  
I've been searching  
I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life_

I wish I had the guts to tell you. But then I would've put you in danger. Well, now you are surrounded by assassins anyway. It's not that I'm mocking you, when you see me pop up of nowhere. When I do, it's to help you. It's to ensure your safety. Because for a reason I don't know, you seems like you are chasing me. A mission they gave you i suppose? Oh, if only you were chasing me for yourself… Yeah, I can always be dreaming. Why would you chase after me anyway?

_Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching waiting for something  
Feel me touch me heal me, come take me higher_

I don't know what I want anymore. I'm confused. The only thing I am thinking is about being with you. It almost seems easy, now. Because there you are, in front of me. Looking at me with those two lagoon eyes, your eyebrows frowned… you seems… mad. Well, I'm not surprised. I am the one at fault, I know it. I am the deserter.

I don't want you near me. It hurts too much. Because I can't reach you. I can't tell you.

Go away.

The only thing i can think about is fight with you. Hoping then you'll withdraw. I know it's not like you to do so. But you don't listen to me when i say it with words. So I have to do the talking with my fists.

I am so sad, yet i must be looking kind of mad. Because I'm mad at me right now.

Such a coward.

I'm sorry. So sorry. I lose control and… almost… or did I? It's killing me to see you there, laying down on the ground, bleeding… oh god, tell me I didn't… Are you crying? Seeing you like that is driving alone my own tears. I am so, so sorry. I never meant to…

Your lips, moving such a little, yet using so much strength, what do you want to tell me? That you hate me, I guess. I'm sorry, so sorry. If only i could go back in time.

Love me? It can't be. This is no time to fool around, you know.

So sorry.

It seems you won't last for long… I am so mad at me. I don't! I don't want you to die! Not by my hand! Neither by someone else's! Please! Please don't!

For the first and the last time, i kissed you. I couldn't restrain myself to. And you smiled… That's making me cry even more. I am so… Eh! Eh, come back! Don't die on me, please! Please don't!

_I've been watching  
I've been waiting  
In the shadows all my time  
I've been searching  
I've been living  
For tomorrows all my life  
I've been watching  
I've been waiting  
I've been searching  
I've been living for tomorrows _

In the shadows

In the shadows  
I've been waiting 

You're so cold… so calm… so… i am so sorry. I love you. I really love you. Please… come back… please… tell me it's not true… tell me I didn't… I…

Loved you so much… it hurts… even more now… please… wait for me. I can't die now.

I'm such a coward.

But when I will… will you…

**The end TT**

**Nemesix : THAT'S SO CUTE!**

**Kidann : It doesn't really follow the song lyrics though… **

**Nemesix : I don't care, it's CUTE!**

**Kidann : I know TT ****I almost cried!**

**Nemesix : So CUTE!!!**

**Reviews? If you feel like it **


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